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So, my insurance company seems to have employed some sort of arcane formula to determine the exact amount that I would bridle at, but that was more than that piece of shit was worth, and offered me a dollar more.

Their valuation included all sorts of damage that is obviously either manufactured or has occurred since my car has been stored sans rear windshield at an unknown location for two months, but the adjustment I might get by contesting those damages is hardly worth the time I'd spend doing so.

So, fuck it. I'll take their money, and consider the bullshit difference between what I paid for the car and what I am getting in recompense for the car's destruction as some sort of arbitrary rental fee.

Meanwhile, because I am a cursed person (note to Supreme Being: I'm not convinced; bring it, mother fucker!), some asshole (assholes?) decided to start a couple blocks up from me and stab the tires on every car for about 30 (that's the correct figure) cars, including, beauty, three tires on my car. I thought it was only the rear two at first, and dutifully replaced them, but then I discovered that the driver's front tire had a pinhole in it and was also fucked. Joy.

Open memo to thugs in Baltimore: you guys suck. If you're trying to demonstrate some kind of moral superiority to the overclass, how about actually hitting people that control the city? I am no one. I make no money. My neighbors are mostly MICA students, and the rest are retirees. By slashing our tires, you are not proving your worth to join some bullshit gang that has virtually no relation to the LA gang of the same name, you are merely demonstrating that you're an asshole terrorist. Good work! Put that on your resume!

Coolest Thing Evar

Meanwhile, I can't help but notice that Breathed looks exactly like Harry Shearer in "For Your Consideration":



Still, he's totally awesome and you should all go buy all his books. Or something.